Posts tagged as:

funny

Where Do Feet Go At Night?

March 1, 2010

Rio has moved into this fascinating conversational period. She’s making up stories like anything, and thinking a lot about how the world works. I guess that’s how she always is. Here’s an example:
“Mama, do you want to know where my feet go at night? While I’m sleeping?”
“Um…sure.”
“They go OUT.”
“Oh, really?”
“They go out and take ballet [...]

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This Will Help

February 26, 2010

Remember that awful feeling of pressure in your eardrums going up or coming down in a plane as a kid?
On our trip home the other day, Rio described it as being “like knives in my ears”. I suddenly had this intense sense memory of that exact feeling. Awful. Maybe my least favorite part of air [...]

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Will this hurt?

January 31, 2010

Rio, holding a hair clip up to her lip as if to pin her lip with it: Will this hurt?
Her aunt: Probably.
Me: I wouldn’t do it.
Rio does it.
Rio: You guys are Wrong.
Long pause. I take her picture. She takes the clip off. Longer pause.
Rio: Is my lip bleeding?

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Baby’s First Knock-Knock Joke

January 22, 2010

Serena: Whooooooo’s there?
The Person She Is Talking To: ignores her.
Serena: You say, “knock, knock”
Her Interlocutor: Oh! Ok. Knock, knock.
Serena: Whooooooo’s there?
Her Interlocutor: the Doctor
Serena: OK! Come on in!

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How to Get Hot Boys

November 25, 2009

I walk in the door and my beloved husband says, “Uh, you’d better interview your daughter. She’s been giving some interesting tips to her friend.”
This sounds intriguing, so I go ahead.
Me: “Were you giving tips to your friend?”
Rio: “Yes.”
Me: “What kind of tips”
Rio: “How to get hot boys.”
Me: “Oh! What’s a hot boy?”
Rio: “You know, [...]

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Secret Zombie Girl

November 24, 2009

As I sat down to dinner, Rio looked up from her plate and said, “Oh, hey, Mom, did you…oh never mind.”
“What?”
“Oh, never mind. It’s a secret.”
“You can tell me a secret.”
“I don’t think you could handle it.”
Oh. Long pause.
Then I said, “Is it a good secret or a bad secret?”
Rio says, “No. It’s about something [...]

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Bare Naked Daddy

November 23, 2009

There aren’t actually any naked Daddy’s in this post. This is ChildWild’s first ever guest post, writting by my much adored and long-suffering husband. The title is his, as is the tale.
Reason #4769 why I married this man: after writing this, he came home and folded a pile of laundry the size of a baby [...]

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Sesame Street iPhone App: Not for Sharing

November 22, 2009

I reviewed the new Sesame Street iPhone app over at Strollerderby yesteday. I think my sweetie put it well when he looked over my shoulder and said, “I cannot imagine anything less interesting.”
But we’re adults. This thing is toddler crack. Serena was ready to give new meaning to the phrase “killer app” by murdering her [...]

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Creative doll repair or Pocket Bondage Princess?

November 12, 2009

I came downstairs today to find this in Serena’s hand. She was cooing over her precious ‘daughter’. Serena is obsessed with these little dolls. Their heads break off easily and can’t be reattached via normal means.
Serena refuses to give up on the dolls, and keeps presenting their parts to her daddy saying, “Fix! Fix! Tools!”
Apparently [...]

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Coloring on the walls

October 29, 2009

Serena loves crayons, and like many toddlers does not wish to have her art confined to paper.
The other day, I left her quietly drawing at the craft table. I came back a minute later to find her on the table, in a perfect downward dog pose, reaching between her legs to draw on the [...]

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