humor

Cookies for Santa

December 23, 2009

Rio has just figured out that Santa will be coming tomorrow night. “We’ll have to put out a plate of cookies for him,” I said. “Cookies? For Santa?” “Yes. You put out cookies and milk for him. Santa likes cookies.” “We get to eat the rest of the cookies, right? We don’t have to give [...]

Tagged as: holiday, rio

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Going to visit Santa

December 22, 2009

The children have built a car in the kitchen. They are driving to “the arctic” to visit Santa. Why? “This is in olden times, before there were any pencils. We went into the woods to find some feathers and there weren’t any. Besides, when we went to the store to buy ink, all the stores [...]

Tagged as: holiday

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All She Wants For Christmas Is Her First Grown-up Tooth

December 12, 2009

Rio lost her first tooth last night, on our way out the door to a holiday party. A party from which we got home late and she fell asleep in the car and did not manage to put her tooth under her pillow. So today, she has been waxing rhapsodic about the tooth fairy, who [...]

Tagged as: fairies, first tooth, funny, rio, teeth, the tooth fairy, tooth fairy

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Elephant!

December 7, 2009

Serena is becoming quite the artist. She bit this pancake into the shape of an elephant and then had it walk around the table. Who says you can’t play with your food?

Tagged as: food, serena

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Bare Naked Daddy

November 23, 2009

There aren’t actually any naked Daddy’s in this post. This is ChildWild’s first ever guest post, writting by my much adored and long-suffering husband. The title is his, as is the tale. Reason #4769 why I married this man: after writing this, he came home and folded a pile of laundry the size of a [...]

Tagged as: education, family, funny, parenting, rio

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Creative doll repair or Pocket Bondage Princess?

November 12, 2009

I came downstairs today to find this in Serena’s hand. She was cooing over her precious ‘daughter’. Serena is obsessed with these little dolls. Their heads break off easily and can’t be reattached via normal means. Serena refuses to give up on the dolls, and keeps presenting their parts to her daddy saying, “Fix! Fix! [...]

Tagged as: funny, serena, toys

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Security theater at the airport

October 30, 2009

I’m in Georgia for the weekend at a retreat. Everyone is cooking a meal: I volunteered to make lentil soup. Because I was unsure of the grocery shopping situation on this end, I brought the ingredients with me. Which led to this conversation with a TSA agent: Me: I have a can of tomatoes in [...]

Tagged as: food, humor, politics

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Coloring on the walls

October 29, 2009

Serena loves crayons, and like many toddlers does not wish to have her art confined to paper. The other day, I left her quietly drawing at the craft table. I came back a minute later to find her on the table, in a perfect downward dog pose, reaching between her legs to draw on the [...]

Tagged as: funny, parenting, serena

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Honey?

October 24, 2009

‘I think I feel a bit like going for a walk,’ Rio said because she totally talks like that. She is five going on Jane Austen. ‘Great!’ says I much less suavely, because I totally talk like I have not had a solid night of sleep in six years. It’s amazing the kids ever learned [...]

Tagged as: food, funny, serena

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Some assembly required

October 24, 2009

Serena just disassembled a magazine rack with her bare hands. And then put it back together. It’s that last part that worries me. Dear Unnamed Engineering School, we can haz scholarship in 2025, yes?