From the category archives:

humor

Can’t Sleep Without A Princess

March 5, 2010

Serena’s been a bit of a bedtime rebel lately. She’s mostly sleeping through the night, waking up only briefly to pee and get a glass of water around 2 a.m.
But she just not falling asleep at bedtime. She goes through the whole bath-book-bed routine with her dad and sister. Rio drops off to sleep like [...]

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This Will Help

February 26, 2010

Remember that awful feeling of pressure in your eardrums going up or coming down in a plane as a kid?
On our trip home the other day, Rio described it as being “like knives in my ears”. I suddenly had this intense sense memory of that exact feeling. Awful. Maybe my least favorite part of air [...]

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Will this hurt?

January 31, 2010

Rio, holding a hair clip up to her lip as if to pin her lip with it: Will this hurt?
Her aunt: Probably.
Me: I wouldn’t do it.
Rio does it.
Rio: You guys are Wrong.
Long pause. I take her picture. She takes the clip off. Longer pause.
Rio: Is my lip bleeding?

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Baby’s First Knock-Knock Joke

January 22, 2010

Serena: Whooooooo’s there?
The Person She Is Talking To: ignores her.
Serena: You say, “knock, knock”
Her Interlocutor: Oh! Ok. Knock, knock.
Serena: Whooooooo’s there?
Her Interlocutor: the Doctor
Serena: OK! Come on in!

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Naked Sex With Barbies

January 12, 2010

Awhile back, Rio wanted to go play at a friend’s house. Let’s call this friend X. I was lying in bed with the covers over my head pretending to be asleep while she negotiated this with her dad.
He was trying to persuade her to have her friend over at our house instead of going over [...]

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Serena vs. Nori

December 29, 2009

In the further adventures of Serena and food: we went to a friend’s house this evening where they were making sushi. We offered her some and she complained that it was stinky in her nose and turned her face away. She pretended to be shy, and demanded to be taken into another room and read [...]

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Cookies for Santa

December 23, 2009

Rio has just figured out that Santa will be coming tomorrow night.
“We’ll have to put out a plate of cookies for him,” I said.
“Cookies? For Santa?”
“Yes. You put out cookies and milk for him. Santa likes cookies.”
“We get to eat the rest of the cookies, right? We don’t have to give them all to Santa?”
“uh…sure. [...]

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Going to visit Santa

December 22, 2009

The children have built a car in the kitchen. They are driving to “the arctic” to visit Santa. Why?
“This is in olden times, before there were any pencils. We went into the woods to find some feathers and there weren’t any. Besides, when we went to the store to buy ink, all the stores were [...]

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Elephant!

December 7, 2009

Serena is becoming quite the artist. She bit this pancake into the shape of an elephant and then had it walk around the table.
Who says you can’t play with your food?

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Bare Naked Daddy

November 23, 2009

There aren’t actually any naked Daddy’s in this post. This is ChildWild’s first ever guest post, writting by my much adored and long-suffering husband. The title is his, as is the tale.
Reason #4769 why I married this man: after writing this, he came home and folded a pile of laundry the size of a baby [...]

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