For the past several months (basically since she started preschool), Serena has been grappling with The Spooky Things. They live inside the scary thoughts in her head. They come out when she’s alone, and especially when she is in the bathroom.
Before I go further, about the bathroom fears: A commenter at Strollerderby suggested the possibility that Something Happened to make Serena afraid of going to the bathroom. I don’t think so.
I was afraid of bathrooms at night when I was a kid, too. I think they’re just kind of scary places. When asked why she needs company in the bathroom, Serena says that at her school, kids are allowed to go to the potty in pairs and she just got used to having someone with her. Her teacher confirms that the kids are allowed privacy or a potty buddy, and that Serena always chooses to go with a friend. I don’t think there’s anything Actually Scary going on here. She just likes having company while she pees, and has fixated on some Scary Thoughts.
This means that I have to go with her to the bathroom every single time she wants to pee. It is not my favorite thing, both because it means my little girl is suffering from some anxiety I don’t fully understand and because it means I have to drop what I’m doing several times a day to run to the potty with her. I am ready for the Spooky Things to be vanquished.
I’ve been trying to plant the idea that she might be able to deal with the Scary Thoughts herself, using tools she herself controls. Happy Thoughts. A special stuffed kitty. The sure knowledge that vampires do not exist. Anything.
This morning she came to the breakfast table with a solution.
“Mommy, I want to do a thing in the summer,” she said. “That thing is KARATE.”
“She means that for real,” Rio piped up. “A real class, with a real teacher at a real karate school.”
“OK!” I said. I love the idea of martial arts education for kids, and am eager to get mine into it. Rio has always refused. If Serena wants to take karate lessons I will sign her up tomorrow.
“I am going to use KARATE to beat the Spooky Things,” Serena said.
“You…what? OK! Yes!”
“She is going to use karate on the scary thoughts in her head,” Rio said, as if explaining gravity to someone who has just fallen. “I noticed she was doing lots of fake karate moves, so I told her that karate would work on Scary Thoughts.”
Serena nods sagely. “KARATE.”
Then she carefully explained that she would be doing karate only with the upper part of her body, while her lower half is occupied with potty business. She really has this all worked out.
For some reason, she wants to wait till summer to take these classes. But when she gets home from school in an hour, I’m going to try her out on some YouTube instructional videos. I have no idea how good those are, but I bet they can help her become tough enough to challenge her Spooky Things.
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Sierra Reply:
February 4th, 2012 at 3:35 pm
wow! I can’t imagine this going on that long. What a devoted parent you are!
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