I’m becoming acutely aware that Rio will not be “my baby” in the same way she has been much longer. She’s already a Big Girl in so many ways. She dresses herself, and washes and brushes her own hair and teeth. She walks, she talks, she goes potty without even telling me about it and cleans up when she’s done. She sleeps in her own bed most of the time. There’s not a lot of ‘baby’ left.
But just now she climbed on my lap after lunch and insisted she wasn’t ready for naptime because she wanted to see pictures of her dad on the computer. “Because I love him,” she said.
We looked at pictures together and then she kept sitting on my lap while I did some “work” on the internet. Eventually she slowly, softly fell asleep in my arms, her chin hitting my arm and then jerking up a couple times before she rolled over and let her head fall onto my chest and stay there. I carried her upstairs and snuggled her down in bed; her eyes sort of blinked open and then fell shut again as soon as she registered my face above her. “Oh good, Mom’s here, no need to wake up.”
I wonder how many more times she’ll fall asleep in my lap like that? She used to do it every day, several times a day, when she was an infant. When the new baby is born, will she ever have the chance again? In a year or so she’ll be too big for me to carry upstairs that way anyway. So once again I find myself holding onto a moment I know I need to let pass.