Some days I stand at the beach and watch the water go and want to hold it where it is, keep the moment frozen somehow. This is the itch camera’s were created to scratch, I suppose, and I took a lot of pictures this weekend.
Saturday The Kid turned 13, which I guess makes him not so much a kid anymore. He performed in his school’s annual circus show, juggling and riding a unicycle. We went to the show with his closest friends from our community, and then headed home and had a lovely birthday party for him with, as it happened, 13 of his nearest and dearest – mostly extended family and favored adults, but happily the two peers who he most wanted to spend the time with where able to come too.
I’m very grateful for these moments we all have together. On Thursday, he’s moving with his mother to Colorado.
Basically: She has wanted to move to Colorado, where she grew up, for several years and M has refused. They had agreed that Ian would finish 8th grade at his school in New Hampshire and then they’d revisit the issue of her moving away with him. This fall she was offered what M described as “the job of a lifetime” at Denver University. He agreed to let her move with Ian this spring, a year and a half earlier than the time they had agreed to, because he felt she’d never have another chance at a job like this one.
Their new arrangement has Ian visiting us four times a year – for the entire summer, at Thanksgiving and Christmas, and for spring break.
I haven’t written about this before in this space because it’s very hard to talk about and not really my story. It’s been a hard and beautiful one, though. I’ve watched M and his ex re-negotiate their divorce agreement for a radically different vision of shared parenting and thought: this is love. These people don’t like each other, they don’t get along very well, and they’ve both been willing to lay aside their egos and personal desires to reach for what they think is best for their son. It makes me feel really lucky to be partnered with M, who brings all those amazing skills and gifts into our relationship.
The Kid has taken it all very easily in stride; he’s excited about the new school he’ll be attending in Denver, which is a wildly different academic and social approach than any school he’s been connected with before. He thinks the move will be fun, and the new schedule will be fine. I support him in this belief, suspending my critical faculties to the best of my ability to do so. A vision of Only Good Things for him at this moment of transition.